Stephen Harper Standing Up on Top of Canadians and Their Institutions

Today's Stand Up Comedy manual excerpt. This is Stephen Harper's message to Canadians taken from his 2006 campaign manual.

The time for accountability has arrived.
Canadians will soon be able to finally hold the Liberals accountable. After 12 years in power,the Liberals must be held accountable for the stolen money; accountable for the broken trust;and accountable for all that they failed to accomplish because of this government’s total preoccupation with scandal and damage control.
For those Canadians seeking accountability the question is clear: which party can deliver the change of government that’s needed to ensure political accountability in
Ottawa? We need a change of government to replace old style politics with a new vision. We need to replace a culture of entitlement and corruption with a culture of accountability. We need to replace benefits for a privileged few with government for all.

Everyday Canadians – the hardworking people who pay their taxes and play by the rules – want and deserve a new government that will put the people’s interest ahead of self-interest. And this election provides them with a chance to tell Liberal Ottawa that they've had enough; that they’re tired of being forgotten; that it’s finally their turn.

Now don't you think these are words that Mr. Harper can choke on right about now?

NO SPRING ELECTION - BLAME THE TOILETS

That's right. Blame the plumbing.

My conspiracy theories are rampant on this. You see, Diane Finlay was supposed to appear infront of the Immigration Committee and the Finance Committee today to answer questions about Bill C-50. You all recall Bill C-50. That's the one that reminds you of when you have to wrap your dog's antibiotics in a piece of cheese so that he doesn't recognize the awful pill. Bill C-50. An awful Immigration Reform Bill wrapped in a Budget Implementation Bill.

Anywho, because the plumbing at Parliament Hill had zero pressure today, Mrs. Finlay didn't get a chance to appear at these committees. So what does that mean? It means the committees will be stalled again.

The long and the short of it is that the Conservatives really don't want a spring election whilst in the middle of 5 scandals. So they will stall this Bill in committee until it can no longer get back to the house before the summer break. You see the Conservatives know full well that this is the Bill that Liberals have no choice but to vote against. They know that the Dippers and the Bloc may vote against it too, thereby toppling their shaky little minority government.

The House is set to adjourn for the summer break June 20 - a mere 46 days from now. However, his royal majesty Stephen Harper could end the session a couple weeks earlier, which means 32 days from now.

In the final analysis, what all of this means is that the Conservatives, as much as they would lead the public to believe, don't want an election right now. They'll stall the only Bill that can spark an election. And this all because of a toilet.

Say, didn't the Conservatives have some favours to call in from the Mayor of Ottawa?

Another Broken Harper Promise

In the "Our principles no longer apply to us" files, we have this for you good readers today:

2006: The Conservative Party makes a promise to the people of Canada in order to improve our democracy: Make all votes in Parliament, except the budget and main estimates, “free votes” for ordinary Members of Parliament.

Source: Page 44 of the 2006 Conservative Party Election Platform (you know, the one Canadians elected them on).



2008: The Conservative Party breaks a promise to the people of Canada in order to keep their firm grip on power:Finance Minister Jim Flaherty is declaring film tax-credit legislation a matter of confidence in the Conservative government, meaning MPs could land on Canadian doorsteps this spring to debate the line between art and pornography.

It seems principles for the Conservatives are something to be used in order to get elected, but not to govern.

(h/t TB)