Stephen Harper Standing Up on Top of Canadians and Their Institutions

Today's Stand Up Comedy manual excerpt. This is Stephen Harper's message to Canadians taken from his 2006 campaign manual.

The time for accountability has arrived.
Canadians will soon be able to finally hold the Liberals accountable. After 12 years in power,the Liberals must be held accountable for the stolen money; accountable for the broken trust;and accountable for all that they failed to accomplish because of this government’s total preoccupation with scandal and damage control.
For those Canadians seeking accountability the question is clear: which party can deliver the change of government that’s needed to ensure political accountability in
Ottawa? We need a change of government to replace old style politics with a new vision. We need to replace a culture of entitlement and corruption with a culture of accountability. We need to replace benefits for a privileged few with government for all.

Everyday Canadians – the hardworking people who pay their taxes and play by the rules – want and deserve a new government that will put the people’s interest ahead of self-interest. And this election provides them with a chance to tell Liberal Ottawa that they've had enough; that they’re tired of being forgotten; that it’s finally their turn.

Now don't you think these are words that Mr. Harper can choke on right about now?